No Waxing of the Naughty Bits!

Talk about being a little too interested in other people’s hoo-ha’s…

Imagine, for a moment, a world without “Brazilian” bikini waxes.

Boarded up waxing salons. Skirt-length bikini bottoms. The evisceration of centuries of South American cultural tradition.

This nightmare scenario, sparked by New Jersey’s recently proposed ban on the bare-it-all Brazilian-style procedure, has waxing professionals in Chicago and across the country atwitter.

“Everybody that comes into a salon, that’s all that they want is the Brazilian wax,” said Jeannette Abou-Mourad, owner of Sister’s Skin Care and Waxing on Michigan Avenue. “How do you tell a woman what she can and can’t do down there?”

Jeff Lamm, a spokesman for New Jersey’s Division of Consumer Affairs, was asked that very question … more or less.

“This is really prompted from the health care perspective,” Lamm said. “Two complaints were filed with the board of cosmetology and hair styling. Two women within the past year sustained injury.”

Really?  In a country with 300 million people (so, approximately 150 million women), two women got a bad wax and so we’re going to ban them?

Really?

Does anyone besides me have a hard time taking this seriously?  I can’t decide if this is about old men getting their jollies from talking about waxed pussies or whether it’s some kind of litigious mania gone haywire.

I know this is a little off the beaten path (ahem… I think there’s a joke in there somewhere…) for this blog, but I can’t decide if this is some leftover religious nuttery or legal nuttery.  In either case, what in the hell are they going to do?  Skirt checks?  Wax sniffing K-9 units?  Mirrors on the shoes of security guards?  SWAT raids on noncompliant salons?

The more I think about it, the more I think this must be a legal thing.  Some insurance company must be trying to cut out one more category of injury they have to pay for.  If it’s illegal, then anyone reporting an injury wouldn’t be covered.

Gee… with two whole cases… I can see why they’re worried.