14 Deadly Sins

Not that I spend much time keeping up with the Vatican’s Litany of Lunacy, but I’m sorry I missed this when it hit the news last February.  The Unchanging and Forever Perfect Word of God™ has been altered slightly to include new sins that God had apparently not thought of when he wrote the Bible.  These are:

• Genetic Modification
• Human Experimentation
• Polluting the Environment
• Social Injustice
• Causing Poverty
• Financial Gluttony
• Taking or Selling Drugs

I’m sure there are some specifics laid out somewhere in the Holy Writ of Vatican Law™ but I don’t have them in front of me at the moment.  I’ll just wing it.

If the Vatican believes genetic modification is sinful, then they better get ready for some serious “causing of poverty.”  Damn near every piece of food at the grocery store has been genetically modified.  It would be extremely difficult to go anywhere in the first world and find food that hasn’t been.

Perhaps they mean genetic modification like in the movies.  They don’t want us creating Ubermen or giant fish that eat Manhattan.  Not to worry.  Those are movies.  It doesn’t work like that.

More likely, they don’t like the idea of us futzing around with the human soul residing in each and every little egg in every womb on the planet, and don’t want to be too blatant about it.  But that makes me wonder about something.  Is there half a soul in each egg, and half a soul in each sperm?  Or does the human soul reside in eggs until the soulless sperm gets there?  Or, does the soul spring magically into existence at fertilization?

These are important questions.

Likewise, what kind of human experimentation are we talking about?  Does the Vatican mean that we shouldn’t do things like the Tuskegee Experiments?  I agree.  But what was wrong about those experiments wasn’t the human experimentation itself, but the way the experiment was carried out.  Those poor subjects were not treated, even after penicillin was discovered.  The disease was allowed to run its course, and they never even knew they could be cured.  That’s called lying, and it’s already a sin.  (Read Proverbs.  The lord hates a lying tongue.)

But human experimentation is how a lot of good things happen.  We have ethics regulations now (largely inspired by the Tuskegee debacle) that prevent scientists from doing cruel things to humans or lying to them about the risks, or their diagnoses.  Experimentation is how science works.  It’s how we verify our hypotheses.  Is the Vatican really telling us that studying humans is off limits?

It’s nice that God is officially against polluting the environment.  I suppose we can expect the closing of all those religious trinket shops all over the world.  All that plastic — just to make little figurines of angels.  And all those Jesus icons that will survive the rapture by three or four thousand years.  What a waste, when all good Christians feel Jesus in their hearts anyway!

And I suppose the Vatican will have to look closely at Vatican City and convert to solar power.  That would be nice.  And what about all those cavernous churches all over the world?  Those things take a LOT of energy to heat and cool.  Will we see a massive down-sizing by the church?  Will church meetings be held outside in clement weather, and will the sheep be expected to wear their wool to keep warm in the winter?  After all, polluting is a deadly sin.

What about Social Injustice?  Let’s start with an easy one.  Churches in America are one of the most segregated institutions left.  We’re still very comfortable with the idea of “Black Churches,” especially in the south.  You can prove this to yourself.  Just pick a church — any church — this Sunday.  Go in, count the whites and blacks.  Compare that ratio to the population in your city.

Causing Poverty?  Two words:  Mother Teresa.

Financial Gluttony?

And finally, there’s taking drugs.  I suppose we’re talking about illegal drugs.  But there’s a problem.  If I happen to be in Holland, I can do things that are not a sin, but if I move to America, the same action will be a sin.  Isn’t that moral relativism?  OH NO!  NOT MORAL RELATIVISM!!

Or… are there some drugs that are just off limits, regardless of the law of the land?  Which ones are they?  Why are they off limits?  What about prescription drugs?  What about all the uninsured Americans who can’t afford to go to a doctor, but need antibiotics, and order them from Canada or India?  Is alcohol a drug?  Why or why not?  No more wine at communion?

I disagree with the prohibition on drugs.  Too many loopholes, and too much emphasis on politics.  I can’t think of a reason why any particular drug is always bad.

All things considered, I do think many of these new deadly sins are pretty bad, and I commend the church for noticing them as soon as a century after the rest of the world.  That’s ahead of schedule for them.  (It took centuries for them to be OK with the diabolus in musica.) Now, let’s see if they take the beam out of their own eye before nitpicking motes.

Bets, anyone?

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