According to a group of conservatives, the Bible is just too gosh-darned liberal, and needs to be edited again so that liberals will stop holding up signs about how Jesus was a socialist. The Conservative Bible Project thinks some creative cut and snips, as well as a few word changes, would do the world a lot of good. Among their proposals:
- Avoid using unisex or neutral language where patriarchal or misogynistic language would be better.
- Using “Powerful Conservative Terms”… whatever that means.
- Apply the logic of Hell in full force. No dumbing down for the weak hearted.
- Clearly express “free market parables.” Jesus was not a goddamned hippie!
- In general, support a “Framework against Liberal Bias.”
In all fairness, I’ve got to hand it to these folks. Never let it be said that fundamentalists won’t go down with a sinking ship. In the face of a president and Congress that could possibly pass as center-right moderates anywhere else on the planet, the right wing wackos are doing their best to make sure that extremism is jackhammered into the public psyche, leaving no hope of reconciliation or compromise with those damn godless heathens.
They’re nothing if not determined.