Life Without a Net
Jesus
Rick Santorum vs. Jesus in Frothy Death Match 2012!
As the race for the Theocratic… err… Republican presidential nomination enters its final legs, we are down to two and a half candidates for the United States of Jesus…. err… America. Even as the devout Catholic Newt Gingrich returns home to Peachtree City (he’s quite the fan of “Peaches,” I am told. So long as they don’t … Continue reading
Biblical Jesus: Liberal Hippy or Insane Conservative?
When I write articles about Christian hate, bigotry, misogyny, and general malevolence, I am inevitably chided by “Good Christians” for misrepresenting both them and their holy writ. Jesus, I am told, was a liberal. He advocated love, tolerance, and women’s rights. He came to earth to teach us a better way to live in peace with each other. In … Continue reading
Jesus on Walmart Receipt: Pretty Damn Convincing.
I have always said that if appropriate evidence presents itself, I will change my mind about the existence of God. Well… gentle readers, you should be the first to know: I’ve seen the evidence, and I am no longer an atheist. Jesus has proven himself to me beyond any reasonable doubt. He put his face … Continue reading
Is Bin Laden in Hell?
A CNN research poll from May 4th gives us a sobering look into the mind of the average American. Across most political and gender lines, six out of ten Americans believe Osama bin Laden is being tortured in the worst imaginable way, and will continue to be tortured trillions of years after our universe has … Continue reading
Osama’s Missing Body
Did Bin Laden really die? Did the Pakistani government collude with Al Qaeda operatives to secret him away to yet another U.S. funded resort? Did he hoof it to a cave bunker with his dialysis machine? There’s no body. Just a report from U.S. agents who certainly can’t be relied upon as objective reporters. It’s … Continue reading
Hey God: What Did I Ever Do To You??
Do you punish the ones you love every single time they hurt you? It’s not a flippant question. I’ve been thinking about all the people who have done things that hurt me, and I’m struck by the realization that punishment is something I reserve for particularly bad offenses. I don’t go about life doling out … Continue reading
The Story of Easter. With Pictures.
The Plan, Part 1: In the Beginning Approximately six thousand years ago, a magical being called “God” set a plan into motion. He’d been waiting and doing very little for several googols of googols of years, so this was a very important time. All that brain power had just been sitting around, formulating the most … Continue reading
Christianity and Women
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3 “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.5 Slaves, … Continue reading
Have You Read Your Bible Carefully?
9 And he said to them, “You have a fine way of rejecting the commandment of God in order to establish your tradition! 10 For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ 11 But you say, ‘If a man tells his father or his mother, “Whatever you would have gained from … Continue reading
Pole Dancing for Jesus
You can’t make this shit up. FOX News is keeping you abreast of the latest most important news. Tonight, pole dancing for Jesus. ‘Cause it’s important. And it’s Jesus. Or something…
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